Sugar Swings!
Dieting has become my life. Mind you, in my case it has become dieting simply for the sake of making my life miserable because I am not losing ANY weight. There’s a certain perverse delight in the knowledge that my doctors have given me, which is that basically FOOD is not my problem. As it is, I take in about 1000 calories per day and exercise between 30 minutes and more recently an hour — DAILY! Ugh! So it seems food and exercise are not my problem. What IS my problem we don’t know, so I am on a waiting list of 2 months to see one of only 2 endocrinologists in the entire country. Gotta love Doha ;)
Of course, a resourceful woman — such as myself — will start looking for answers on her own. I already discovered that a lack of Thyroxin makes your eyebrows thin and you lose the last 3rd of them altogether. Had I known that back 5 years ago — when I started to realized that paying to have them threaded was simply something I did to make myself FEEL like I actually had brows that needed to be shaped and tamed – I could have saved a lot of money. Still, now that I know it and have started taking Thyroxin, I have full brows again, maash’Allah! I may still be fat and it hurt like HELL yesterday at the salon but I do have brows!
What was I talking about? Oh yeah…. the “f” word.
I like the way inventors are using technology to help us lose weight. If I could only get the local grocery stores to purchase the Exercise Trolley! This handy little machine has a gear mechanism that you can program to make it 20 times harder to push the trolly around the grocery store as you fill it up with ice cream, chips and soda. Something not quite right about that….
But if sweets are your problem, one way to lose weight is to take up smoking:
Of course then when you try to quit, you have a tendency to gain it all back. But there is a solution for that:
It doesn’t hurt that there’s a little of that Amphetamine pick-me-up as a positive side effect!
I personally find dieting so stressful. Unfortunately my doctor doesn’t agree with this kindly gentleman:
Nowadays, doctors want you to have WILLPOWER. Whatever happened to sympathy for folks with elephantine appetites?
There are NATURAL ways to lose weight, too. Anybody know where I can find sanitized Tapeworms?
And if all else fails, I can just order this little number from a Japanese manufacturer that will disguise me as a vending machine:
Of course, I’ll only have diet drinks available!
