I’m awake. I’m slowly picking up steam. It’s like when you’ve been to see an overwhelming, absorbing art exhibition and you come out of the huge museum with muted lighting into the glare of the afternoon sun. You squint a little and inch along slowly and uncertainly at first. But before you know it, your stepping lightly and moving on down the block to catch a cab.
It helps that Ramadan and the Eid will be over by this time next week, insha’Allah. I used to always get very depressed over the Christmas holidays between the ages of 22 and about 35. Then I realized that the reason I was so depressed was because I had in mind that I SHOULD be making good on all these family traditions in the way Christmas was celebrated and here I was a single mother. I didn’t have the money, energy or heart to pull that off. What happened is that when I started university and we moved in with my dear roommate and best friend Nathalie, I learned that we could create any “new traditions” we wanted! And they could be as crazy as we wanted — in fact, the crazier the better!
I haven’t gotten to that point with Ramadan and Eid yet. After all, this is the first Ramadan and Eid since the divorce. But insha’Allah, by next year it will get better and improve from there.
I have a week off from classes; unfortunately I have 2 weeks worth of work to do in that time. But keeping busy is a good thing. I’m managing the depression okay. Thanks for checking in on me.
